


good food, bad laughs

by Cinnimani



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, First Dates, Jokes, Multi, OT3, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), [More like first fancy date..!], [On God I don't know what else to put here .]
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24617362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnimani/pseuds/Cinnimani
Summary: “HERE WE ARE!”Papyrus helped you step out and closed the door behind you, leading you into the pretty building just a couple feet away. “Ebott Dining/Comedy Club?” Well, he wasn’t lying about this being a fancy date. You almost had a hard time believing this place also doubled as a comedy club. Who was headlining again..?
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Papyrus/Reader/Sans (Undertale), Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 15
Kudos: 50





	good food, bad laughs

**Author's Note:**

> (me? imani cinnimani? writing ? quarantine got me actin' strange.....)
> 
> i thought this up at 3am and couldn't stop thinking about it all day!! i'd put it in the multichapter fic i'm writing, but i don't think it'd fit anywhere. so. yay! here ya go..

“I look good, right?”

Putting the phone down, you backed up trying to give as much of a full body view of yourself as you could. You proceeded to strike three silly poses, even taking off your cardigan to show off the matching dress underneath. Then, in a very annoying fashion, winked at your phone.

The face on the other side of the screen rolled their eyes sarcastically, drawling as they replied, “I guuu _ueeessssss_.” They chuckled, but the slight knit of your eyebrows made them change their tune. “You _know_ I’m just joking. I always think your style is super cute.”, they acknowledged, “But why are you so nervous about this date anyway? I thought you guys have gone on a few dates already?”

You sighed. “We have! Three, in fact! But according to his ‘dating manual’ book thing, after three casual dates it’s ‘mandatory’ to go on a fancy one.” You took one quick look at your phone, taking in your best friend’s confused expression. Mood. “Yeah, girl, don’t even ask. It’s a monster thing apparently and I don’t wanna be insensitive.”

“I just… haven’t ever really been on a fancy date! And I don’t even know _where_ we’re going to exactly, just that it’s a dinner and a ‘show’.. and that it’s out of town.” Pulling up the top of your dress for what already felt like the tenth time, you continued, “Look at me! He’s got me in a strapless dress, nails painted, frazzled as all hell, and— and makeup! It’s mostly just my eyebrows but you _know_ I don’t do makeup.”

An overdramatic gasp slipped through the phone. “Dang, did he get you to shave, too?” You snickered. “Oh, nah, why do you think this dress is below my knees? Besides, he’ll be so focused on my **humungous** _bahonkas_ , he won’t even notice anything else.” There was a moment of silence before the two of you burst into obnoxious laughter. “You’re so annoying, I swear—", your bestie choked out between laughs. It lasted at least a solid minute before one of you tried to speak up, immediately stopping for a knock at the door.

“He’s here, he’s here!”, you whisper yelled. You grabbed up your phone and purse, trying to make it out of your messy room and to the front door in one piece. “Okay, bye, love you! Stay safe!”, you heard in between the clacks of your heels. “And make sure to keep those massive dohoonkabhankoloos in for me!”

The beep cut you off before you could reply with something equally as stupid. Talking to her always put your mind at ease no matter what you initially came to her with. And now with her gone, it really was just you, your nerves, and your skeletal date waiting just a few feet behind your door.

* * *

“HELLO, HUMAN?”, you heard, followed by another knock. “SORRY TO COME 15 MINUTES BEFORE THE DESIGNATED PICKUP TIME, BUT I JUST REMEMBERED HOW BAD TRAFFIC CAN BE TRAVELING TO EBOTT CITY FROM HERE. IF YOU’RE STILL NOT READY THEN DO NOT FRET! MY CAR IS _MORE_ THAN CAPABLE TO GET US THERE LICKETY SPLIT!” You could almost see him proudly puffing his chest out with his world famous ‘nyeh heh!’ scoff.

“BESIDES, THERE IS NO NEED TO GET ALL DOLLED UP FOR OUR EVENING EXCURSION. I MAY BE KNOWN AS THE GREAT PAPYRUS BUT HUMAN, YOU ARE _JUST_ AS GREAT! AND THAT’S WHY Y... YOU…” The door behind you clicked closed as you stood before Papyrus. It’s not that you’ve never worn a dress in front of Papyrus before, but something about it being strapless _and_ bodycon made you super conscious of him looking at you.

But he wasn’t the only one staring in awe. Papyrus’ outfit was quite simple yet looked perfect on him. A plain button up with matching blazer, slacks, and shoes, topped with a classy straw hat. It seemed as if there was a watch on his right wrist, but it was hidden by his sleeves. When you looked up at his face, you could see a slight blush grace his cheekbones. You nervously picked at your duster cardigan before he spoke up again. “WOWIE… H-HUMAN, YOU LOOK.. V-VERY NICE..” he flushed, eyeing over you, “THAT DRESS FITS YOU PERFECTLY.. AND YOUR H-HAIR, TOO…”

Your heart began to beat a bit faster as you saw his hand reaching out to touch you, but he abruptly stopped, staring at his watch in shock. “NYEH! IT SEEMS I WILL HAVE TO APPRECIATE YOUR TRANSCENDENT BEAUTY.. L-LATER!!” He fumbled around fixing his watch, then skittishly put out his hand for you to take. “AFTER YOU, UM.. M’LADY.” His mutual nervousness put you at ease enough to sputter out a chuckle. He never failed to make you grin wide. “Thank you, uh.. m’guy.”

All your focus was on trying to make sure you didn’t trip down the stairs of your front porch and keep up with Papyrus’ slightly longer legs. When you finally looked up, you stammered. “P-papyrus.. _that’s your car_???”

Parked in front of your house was a bright red shiny sports car, a convertible at that. A Mazda… something, going by the logo on the back. It looked incredibly modern, probably released in the last five years, if not released this year. “OH YES, THAT’S MINE! I JUST GOT IT FAIRLY RECENTLY, SO I HAVEN’T REALLY HAD TIME TO TAKE IT FOR A SPIN.” You reached out to open your side door to get in, but Papyrus had already reached it before you. “ALLOW ME!” Such a cute gesture caught you off guard, but you thanked him all the same and got in. “NOW, LET US VENTURE ON TO EBOTT CITY TO COMMENCE OUR WONDERFUL DATE NIGHT!”

* * *

Traffic really _did_ suck as it took about an hour for the two of you to reach your destination. Not that hanging out with Papyrus for an hour and singing with the radio wasn’t the _epitome_ of fun. “‘CAN’T TRUST A BIG BUTT AND A GEMINI’? GOOD THING I AM NEITHER AND TOTALLY TRUSTABLE!” And when the two of you were stuck waiting on the light to turn green, he’d reach over to find and squeeze your hand. You don’t think he was doing it consciously, which made him intertwining his fingers with yours at every stop all the more cute. You were almost sad when you found Papyrus at your passenger car door, ready to let you out.

“HERE WE ARE!”

Papyrus helped you step out and closed the door behind you, leading you into the building just a couple feet away. “Ebott Dining/Comedy Club?” Well, he wasn’t lying about this being a fancy date. The restaurant was completely gray except for white trimmings and gold accents. It had very gorgeous light and glass fixtures everywhere, reminiscent of a three-star restaurant. You had a hard time believing this also doubled as a comedy club. Who was even up tonight?

The two of you encountered a monster in uniform, manning the front desk. Their head was an entire hand, but they seemed to have a pretty good _hand_ le on things.

“Name?”

“THE RESERVATION IS PROBABLY UNDER PAPYRUS! IF NOT, MMM, TRY GASTER.”

“Gaster, Gaster..” The hostess perked up as if he had said his name was Tom Cruise or something. “Oh, yes, Gaster! Right this way!” She picked up a couple of menus and lead you two to an empty table. On the way there, you noticed there were not many humans seated, but it didn’t bother you any. This seat was also incredibly close to the stage. “Please take a look at these menus, a server will be with you shortly!”

The menu was filled with a lot of Italian dishes you’ve honesty never heard of. “Cavatelli, huh..” Instead of torturing yourself with a thousand dishes ending in ‘ti’, ‘li’, and sometimes ‘ette’, you decided to look towards Papyrus for help. Somehow, he was already looking at you as if you’d called his name. “Oh.. uh… I was just wondering.. what pasta is this?” You tipped down his menu and tapped a freshly painted nail on the ‘ricotta cavatelli’ choice. “OH! RICOTTA IS A TYPE OF CHEESE AND CAVATELLI IS AN INTERESTINGLY SHAPED PASTA. FOR SOME REASON, THEY LOOK LIKE MINIATURE HOT DOG BUNS! SANS ALWAYS APPRECIATES WHEN I MAKE THOSE.” A small smile formed on your face. “That’s really cute. I’ll probably get that then. What about you?”

Papyrus squinted at the menu, going through each selection with the utmost seriousness until he reached a selection he liked. “I THINK I WILL GO FOR THE ORECCHIETTE! DID YOU KNOW THAT ORECCHIETTE IN ITALIAN MEANS LITTLE EAR? AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THEY’RE SHAPED LIKE! AS KIDS, SANS AND I USED TO STICK THEM ON THE SIDES OF OUR HEADS AND PRETEND WE WERE HUMANS. AH, NO OFFENSE MEANT, OF COURSE!!”

The sound that came out of you was less than elegant. “Papyrus, you’re not, like, appropriating human culture by sticking some raviolis on your head as a kid.”

“THEY’RE ORECCHIETTE!”

“Bless you.”, you grinned.

The giggles that came out of the both of you were definitely less than elegant. You just couldn’t help it. Talking to Papyrus always brought out the silly side of you you sometimes tone down for other people. And you _know_ you both were being complete chatterboxes, but you didn’t really care about anyone else. Even when the server came, took your orders, and later brought the food, you two were still talking about all the different types of pastas Papyrus knew, and all the childhood stories that went with them. (Which uh, there were more than you thought there could be.)

It was nice.

This.. was nice.

A pang of sadness hit you in the middle of your conversation. The food was done, cups nearly empty.. does that mean the date was over? Was it time to go home? You really didn’t want the date to end, not now. You didn’t get to hear about how much he hated SpaghettiOs yet!

Wait, didn’t he say this was a dinner _and_ a show…?

“Hey, Papyrus, there’s a show after this right?” Papyrus flicked his wrist around to look at the time. “IT _SHOULD_ BE IN ABOUT 3 MINUTES IF EVERYTHING’S ON TIME! BUT, KNOWING THE COMIC..” The server had come around again, this time to pick up the plates and bring the bill. “Oh, so it _is_ a comedy show? Do you know who the headliner is? I don’t think I saw any signs with anyone on it..”, you mumbled. Papyrus’ took on a nervous countenance, replying, “YOU COULD SAY THAT..” 

You smirked and swirled the ~~water~~ supremely adult-like mixed drink in your glass before taking a swig. He better not be holding out on you that he personally knows John Mulaney and never introduced you.

You’d never forgive him.

* * *

Suddenly, the entire restaurant stood to their feet, clapping and cheering. It startled you but you’re sure it startled Papyrus a bit, too. Overhead, you could just make out a voice introducing the long-awaited comedian of the night.

“Originally from Snowdin, Underground, here’s comic Saaaaansss!”

The cheering only got louder as Sans, yes, the Sans you knew personally, emerged from backstage. Half choking on the water you just swallowed, all you could cough was, “SANS?? _OUR_ SANS? YOUR BROTHER??” Papyrus face, on the other hand, was full of pride. “NYEH HEH HEH, BUT OF COURSE!”

You knew Sans was _funny_ , but…!

“thank you, thank you.”, Sans cheekily replied to the crowd, “you guys missed me, huh?” Even though most patrons were seated now, everyone was still clapping and yelling his name. He was now close enough that you could see what he was wearing: a slightly casual suit. Casual, yet classier than anything you’ve seen Sans put on. Ever.

His eyes scanned through the restaurant until he landed on your table with Papyrus. For a split second, he mirrored a deer in headlights but looked away before being distracted for too long. Weird.

You wanted to tap Papyrus’ shoulder to ask, but the crowd had finally calmed down enough for Sans to properly start his set. “i know, i know, it’s been a while.” You could hear a distant “EBOTTTT!” yelled from behind you somewhere. “ebott’s different! it took me a bit to get back in the game and ebott’s all different now.” He made a show of himself rolling his eyes back and forth, looking around. You could feel the audience riled up, ready to laugh again. “there’s a lot of humans walkin’ around here, aren’t there?” The audience erupted with laughter, including you and Papyrus.

“honestly, i find it pretty damn humerus.” Somewhere, a xylophone chord was played. “a year or two ago, humans were looking at ebott through binoculars from their homes like, ‘ _Well, that city looks dangerous. I couldn’t ever live there_.’” Sans inched closer to the mic stand, mic still in his left hand. “now these new humans? ya can’t scare them. i tried!”, he shrugged. “try to roll up on ‘em like “boo!” and they’ll go, ‘ _The hell’s wrong with you? Those days are over._ ’” The snobby voice Sans switched over to when imitating humans was a real hit with the audience. “and you’d think out of all monsters to be scared of, they’d still be scared of skeletons. nope. they decorate their homes with us on halloween, got us chilling in doctor offices. and some of ‘em?” He made a clicking sound with his mouth twice and winked.

“they like to be reaaaaaal cozy with our kind.”

Wait, huh?

Your head snapped around to Papyrus, whose face was as red as a beet. You were sure your face looked similarly as you looked back and forth between the two brothers. The crowd was full of “ooo’s” and “awww’s”, coupled with a few giggles and grins. “now don’t get me wrong. if i could bag myself a human dime piece, i would!”, he sighed. “but unfortunately, i just don’t have the guts.”

Ba-dum-tss!

* * *

The rest of Sans’ set went ridiculously well. He did a few more observational jokes, sneaking in skeleton puns where he could. He even told a hilarious story about someone who could have been no one other than Undyne, but he never gave away her name or any identifying descriptors. You were lowkey afraid he’d pick on the two of you again, but for the rest of night he didn’t even look your way once.

It was honestly surprising to see Sans so… confident. It’s not that he has an entirely different persona on stage, but more like he’s tapped into a side of him he only reserves for comedy. At the end of the show, Sans walked away just _knowing_ he’d get another standing ovation.. and he did. If you couldn’t hear Papyrus before, you definitely couldn’t hear him over this round of thunderous applause and ‘encore, encore!’s.

“DID YOU LIKE THE SHOW?” Papyrus inquired, leading you throughout the parking lot. “Well, of course I did! But why didn’t you tell me Sans was headlining? Or that Sans is even a comedian??” The look on your face must have been really funny to make Papyrus hiccup at it. He took his free hand and tucked some of your baby hairs behind your ear for you. "I WANTED IT TO BE A SURPRISE! WHAT BETTER WAY TO SPEND MY EVENING THAN DINING WITH MY FAVORITE HUMAN AND LAUGHING WITH MY LEAST FAVORITE BROTHER!” Before you could get a word out, he retorted, “I ACTUALLY DON’T HAVE ANY OTHER BROTHERS, BEFORE YOU ASK. HE’S JUST MY LEAST FAVORITE FOR NOT REMINDING ME HE WAS DEBUTING BACK INTO COMEDY TONIGHT. HE’LL BE MY MOST FAVORITE BY MORNING WHEN HE INEVITABLY APOLOGIZES SOMETIME LATER.”

Papyrus adjusted his hat. “OH, SPEAK OF THE SKELETON!”

Leaned up against Papyrus’ convertible was the man of the night himself, Sans. He had a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and what looked like a bottle of champagne in the other. “Oh my God, it’s him! That guy! Sand, right? Sand from Snowdy, Undagwound?” Still teasing, you bent down slightly to hug Sans’ little manlet body. His skull was cool on your chest, yet slightly sweaty. Usually he’d be annoyed by your taunting or annoy you back, but this time he actually wrapped his arm around you and accepted the hug. “You did sooooo good tonight!”, you said, lightly rocking him. “When were you gonna tell me you were a bonafide comedian, huh?”

Immediately, you stopped hugging him and let him go. “I didn’t mean that pun.”

He chuckled, cracking that sh•t eating grin he seemed to have a lot of the times. “i really wasn’t expecting to return to it so, uh, soon. got a call mulaney had an emergency—”

“So he WAS coming!”

“—and apparently i was the next best thing. didn’t wanna invite anyone just in case i bombed hard, y’know?”

Papyrus seemed to take huge offense to this, stepping closer to Sans with his hands on his hipbones. “OH PLEASE, SANS. YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME YOU WERE PLAYING ‘SHAPE OF YOU’ ON A BUSTED KAZOO AND I’D STILL COME OUT TO SUPPORT! AND YOU KNOW I _HATE_ THAT SONG!”, he stated matter-of-factly.

A light blush spread across his cheeks to which he could only scratch his head. Sans appeared mildly uncomfortable with all the praise and support, and for once in your life, you didn’t tease him. But boy, did you want to.

“anyways.. i’m gonna head home. it’s been a long night. uh, thanks for coming. and thanks for being a good bro.” You both smiled, simultaneously saying, “SURE THING!” Sans walked between the two of you, seemingly back towards the comedy club. When you looked back to say one last thing, he had already left. Gone, without a trace. You always wondered how his little baby legs got him to places so fast.

When you looked back up at Papyrus, he had on a very determined expression. Eyeing him, you asked, “Hey, uh, Papyrus… something up?” Nodding, he opened and closed your door for you, then practically hopped into the driver’s seat and jammed the key in the ignition. “SEE, SANS SAYS HE’S ‘GOING HOME’ BUT I ALREADY KNOW HIS HABITS. HE’LL MOST LIKELY STOP BY GRILLBY’S, PICK UP A BURGER, THEN WADDLE BACK TO THE HOUSE ON HIS OWN TIME.” Papyrus pulled out of the parking lot, ready turn on the main street to get back home. “THAT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO GET HOME AND DECORATE TO THROW HIM A LITTLE CELEBRATION FOR HIS EFFORTS TODAY!”, he beamed.

“WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN? I KNOW THAT I’VE TAKEN UP A LOT OF YOUR TIME ALREADY AND YOU MUST BE QUITE TIRED, SO I UNDERSTAND IF YOU SAY NO. BUT IF YOU’RE FREE AND HAVE SPACE FOR CAKE, THEN YOU’RE FORMALLY INVITED TO THE ‘COMIC SANS EXTRAVAGANZA’!”, he finished the a flourish.

You thought about it. I mean, it’s not like you were going to go home and do anything interesting except rip off that strapless bra and go to sleep. If you went with Papyrus, you’d be able to spend time with both of them and have cake. Was there really any other option?

“Of course, I’ll come, Papyrus. But only on one condition.”

“YES?”

“We have to listen to ‘Juicy’ on repeat until we get there.”, you smirked.

“OH HUMAN, YOU KNOW I KEEP THAT BOOTY, BOOTY, I KEEP THAT PLUMP.” 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry. i have no brain cells. good night


End file.
